Nothing puts your self-esteem on the line faster than a job search. You face rejection and self-doubt daily. It takes a good deal of internal motivation to keep moving at all, much less to keep the correct frame of mind needed to win interviews.

A single day of beggar mentality (“Please, somebody give me a job.”) is a whole day wasted. One interview done with self-doubt could mean losing the opportunity of a lifetime. Hiring-decision-makers hire positive, cheerful, high-self-esteem people who are confident (but not arrogant) about their value.

Your motivation must be jealously guarded, protected, renewed, and nourished when you are job hunting. Take some steps to eliminate self-doubt:

• Take special care to ensure your proper motivation.

• Periodically ground yourself with your value by reading your resume and remembering your successes.

• Schedule a weekly contact with culture—a play, an inspirational movie, a work of art—as a reminder that whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

• Avoid negative newspaper stories, TV news, sitcoms, and negative people. People tend to come away with a general depiction of life as boring, tragic, and inane. This is something you cannot afford while job hunting. Do keep up-to-date on important news, particularly developments in business that may alert you to opportunities and help you present yourself as an informed candidate while networking.

• Use motivational tapes and books as well as nurturing times with spouse and friends.

• Attend networking groups, but only the ones that create a positive mental attitude. If you feel burdened, flat, etc. after a network meeting then you’ve just attended a “Pity Party.”

You probably feel pretty aware of how easy it is for an employer to find someone else who will take the job. But you are selling yourself short if you assume that is their attitude and you don’t even ask.

They key to remember to is they probably don’t want to hire just anyone. They are looking for they best they can get. So, do your research and ask. If you don’t ask, you already have your answer…its no!

There is also the matter of acting with respect throughout the negotiation process as you did through the hiring process. Don’t take it personal that they will try to hire at the most advantageous pay rate for them. Of course, you will work to help understand that they get what they pay for…this is your leverage.

Remember this too: the wage you accept will impact your attitude on the job. It will either be in a positive way or a negative way. The salary you accept now determines the raises you will get later because raises are based on percentages usually.

All that being said to help you see the importance of negotiating, here are some techniques you may want to consider.

• It is important to buy time when a number is thrown out there. Pausing for just a few seconds when a number is mentioned can give the impression that they will have to come up on something so you can meet in the middle. It could be money, time, or perks that they come up with but something more. They say a number and you pause as you are considering your response. Sometimes those few seconds can make you thousands of dollars! If not now then certainly as you work for them years and each future raised is based on what you accept at the start.

• You also buy time when negotiations are closing for the day. You sum up what they are offering and say, “I will sleep on it and speak with you tomorrow if that sounds okay with you.” Or you may sum it all up and say (as long as it is true), “I expect another offer to come in soon, when is the latest I can get back to you? Can I reply by Friday, does that sound acceptable?”

• Sometimes you do have to say “no” to an offer if you feel they are just too low and it will affect your attitude and work ethic to accept. There is power in walking away if they refuse meet your needs and you feel you can get your needs met elsewhere.

• One technique to use is to say something like this, “after careful consideration, I must decline your job offer. Thank you for taking the time to talk with me and please do call if the budget changes.” That way you give them room to come up to your expectations if they are really pained to see you walk away.

TIP #1 – DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT SO THAT YOU CAN HELP OTHERS HELP YOU

It may seem counterintuitive, but the best way to find a job is be able to tell people exactly what kind of job you want when networking. Sometimes people think it is best to keep all options open for any type of job that may come along. But with that strategy there is a higher likelihood that they will not like the position they accept and will be looking for a job again real soon because they quit or got fired. A person who handles the job search that way risks quickly becoming a job hopper. And guess what, it all started because they didn’t define what they were looking for in the first place.

The process does not have to be difficult or long and drawn out. It can be quite enriching if a person takes the time, but it can be done quickly with a few educated guesses when food just needs to get to the table too.

Minimally, you need to know:

• What kind of work fits your lifestyle right now such as part time, full time or contract?

• What industry are you interested in?

• What are example job titles?

• What skills you have to offer and what kind of problems you can solve with those skills?

With this kind of information in mind you can start the job search by asking people you know and people you meet a very powerful question, “Who do you know in the retail clothing industry that may be looking for part-time employees?” As simple as that you can begin accessing the hidden job market and the power of networking. Moral of the story: knowing what you want sure helps other people help you.

TIP #2 – FIND A MENTOR

First, outline or journal what your career will look like when you arrive at the “next level.” What will you be doing in your work? What experience & education will you have achieved? How are you impacting your industry? Continue to make better distinctions about yourself and where you want to go then follow your nose to the virtual and real world gathering places for people whose interests match yours. Look for them in writing and speaking that is going on in your industry and in professional associations associated with your industry, or attend a conference or training, and search for them on LinkedIn. Locate and engage the experts in those places. Share your enthusiasm and demonstrate that you are there to learn and that you are very interested in contributing to the conversation. Ask the question, “what advice do you have for someone who is interested in doing what you are doing?” Ask also how they stay up-to-date in the field. Be sure to thank them for their time by writing them a thank you note or email or a quick follow up phone call or message later. Consider them a part of your professional network and send info their way when you see or hear about something they might like to know. If you notice a potential mentor but suspect they are too busy to be a mentor? Or maybe you just don’t know how to break the ice with them. Try informational interviewing. Its not just for students or those choosing a career for the first time! Informational interviewing can help you transition to a new career field, further your network, or find a mentor.

TIP #3 – ACCOMPLISHMENTS NOT GOALS

Spend more time tracking and talking about your accomplishments rather than your goals. Think about it: accomplishments are actions you have already taken, goals are actions you intend to take…which is more powerful? Begin by making it a habit to log your accomplishments weekly while they are fresh in your mind. Collect them and turn them into bullet points for your resumes and power stories for your networking and interviews.

TIP #4 – START A BLOG

Career blogging is a networking and electronic portfolio all in one! Your blog can be an outstanding networking tool. This is just the kind of thing the blogosphere was meant for…sharing information, having a discussion, building relationships. Plus, a blog can become a showcase for your unique personality, knowledge, and skills. With small regular posts you can quickly build an impressive portfolio demonstrating more about your personality and quality of work while building your reputation at the same time.

1. Ego Surfing – Search for your name to see what information comes up.

• www.Pipl.com
• www.google.com
• Meta‐search engine (i.e., www.dogpile.com; www.Mamma.com; www.Metasearch.com)

2. Social Networking – Begin building online profiles using some of the following sites.

• www.Twitter.com
• www.LinkedIn.com
• www.Plaxo.com
• www.Facebook.com

3. Blogging – Consider starting a blog about your industry and how you participate in an innovative way.

• www.Blogger.com
• www.WordPress.com
• www.TypePad.com

4. Automated Research – Set your searches up to be delivered to your email inbox or set up an RSS reader for sites you frequently visit.

• Google Alerts (www.google.com/alerts)
• RSS Feed Aggregators (www.google.com/reader, www.bloglines.com, www.FeedReader.com)

Most people don’t land a great job or create a wonderful career by being open to anything, not at all. Instead, it is done by checking in with themselves about what they really want and going for it a hundred percent. This focus makes them more attractive candidates, too. Think about it as if you were the one hiring. You have two people to choose from. One lady has done a job for several years and is keeping her options open. The other lady is committed to being the very best at the job she knows she wants. Who would you be more likely to make an offer to?

This is an interesting story on 20/20 about whether or not salaries should be shared openly.

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=6668520

I’ll agree that there are times when a person is in no position to negotiate, but it has to be taken on a case by case basis for reasons like “I have to have some money now or I will not make the bills” or “I need to break into the industry so I’m willing to take a hit.” Even then, just because you attempt negotiate doesn’t automatically mean they take their job offer back!

Going in with a general attitude of “this is a part-time position so I can’t negotiate” or “this is a fast food position so I can’t negotiate” or “this is a commission based position so I can’t negotiate” only helps the employers as they win by default! Look at it this way if it helps, they put you through a rigorous hiring process and now its your turn to lead the way through the negotiation process.

Sometimes you run into bosses who express that because you attempted to negotiate you will be a trouble maker but that is rare. In fact, the company or boss’s behavior upon negotiation is very telling of the kind of company or boss they will be to work for. In this way, negotiation time is a great time to get important insights into boss personality and company culture before you accept the job.

Let’s be clear, employers want good employees and they do not want to have to go through the hiring process again for an already filled position any time soon if at all possible. If you navigate the interview process with good timing then they are offering you a job right when they have decided you have something to offer and they want you to be on their team. The perfect time to negotiate! They have extended an offer and are awaiting your response. You have the offer and it is unlikely they will revoke the offer as long as you negotiate respectfully. Indeed, most employers will have more respect for a person who looks out for themselves in an acceptable manner as this subtly implies the person will also be able to look out for the company’s best interests in a way that represents the company well.

It may seem counterintuitive, but the best way to find a job is be able to tell people exactly what kind of job you are seeking. Sometimes people think it is best to keep all options open for any type of job that may come along. But with that strategy there is a higher likelihood that they will not like the position they accept and will be looking for a job again real soon because they quit or got fired. A person who handles the job search that way risks quickly becoming a job hopper. And guess what, it all started because they didn’t define what they were looking for in the first place.

The process does not have to be difficult or long and drawn out. It can be quite enriching if a person takes the time, but it can be done quickly with a few educated guesses when food just needs to get to the table too.

Minimally, you need to know:

• What kind of work fits your lifestyle right now such as part time, full time or contract?

• What industry are you interested in?

• What are example job titles?

• What skills you have to offer and what kind of problems you can solve with those skills?

With this kind of information in mind you can start the job search by asking people you know and people you meet a very powerful question, “Who do you know in the retail clothing industry that may be looking for part-time employees?” As simple as that you can begin accessing the hidden job market and the power of networking.

Yesterday something happened to me that happens all the time. I met a new person and she happened to be looking for a job. I asked her what kind of job she was looking for and she curled her lip, shrugged her shoulders and said, “anything really.”

Okay, I’ll admit this is a pet peeve for me. Here she is looking for a job and any job will do. Do you believe that? Yeah, me neither. I’m sure anybody she’s networking with feels like they have to do a lot of work to learn anything about her and her skills and ambition. My guess is her cover letters and resumes and any applications that she is putting out there are very nonspecific too. This is likely the main reason that her job search has gone on nine months so far with no offers which is certainly a source of frustration for this bright, young woman.

Of course I can’t resist talking to anyone about their career. So I asked a few more questions and found out that she was a burned out elementary school teacher who had been teaching for three years. She felt like she was a statistic because she had heard reports that so many new teachers only last three to five years in the field. I told her that might be true but most people these days are only in any job for three to five years before being let go or otherwise choosing to move on anyway. I also tried to reassure her that sometimes you don’t know if you will like a profession until you’re in it but you can always learn something from it.

As we continued to visit, finally her eyes lit up about something. What she really wanted was to start her own business! She had already done a lot of research into potential businesses and was continually drawn to ideas centered on working with children. She also wanted to continue to use her curriculum development and organizational skills. Now we were onto something! Better yet her education and time teaching would nicely support such a business endeavor which was really important to her.

So by the end of the conversation she had a new person in her personal network. I was also able to provide her with several resources to check out. We also had an impromptu brainstorming session which resulted in several business concepts that she is excited to research further.

Moral of the story: knowing what you want sure helps other people help you…even people you just met.

Consider what it means to be successful today. Increasingly, success in work involves an aspect of quality of life. Baby Boomers watched their Great Generation parents work their fingers to the bone dragging themselves in to work day after day for 20 years. Generation Xer’s watched their Baby Boomer parents start along that same 20 year path only to be shocked with pink slips after 10-15 years on the job. Now, all generations are beginning to wisely take control of their careers and their quality of life.