You probably feel pretty aware of how easy it is for an employer to find someone else who will take the job. But you are selling yourself short if you assume that is their attitude and you don’t even ask.

They key to remember to is they probably don’t want to hire just anyone. They are looking for they best they can get. So, do your research and ask. If you don’t ask, you already have your answer…its no!

There is also the matter of acting with respect throughout the negotiation process as you did through the hiring process. Don’t take it personal that they will try to hire at the most advantageous pay rate for them. Of course, you will work to help understand that they get what they pay for…this is your leverage.

Remember this too: the wage you accept will impact your attitude on the job. It will either be in a positive way or a negative way. The salary you accept now determines the raises you will get later because raises are based on percentages usually.

All that being said to help you see the importance of negotiating, here are some techniques you may want to consider.

• It is important to buy time when a number is thrown out there. Pausing for just a few seconds when a number is mentioned can give the impression that they will have to come up on something so you can meet in the middle. It could be money, time, or perks that they come up with but something more. They say a number and you pause as you are considering your response. Sometimes those few seconds can make you thousands of dollars! If not now then certainly as you work for them years and each future raised is based on what you accept at the start.

• You also buy time when negotiations are closing for the day. You sum up what they are offering and say, “I will sleep on it and speak with you tomorrow if that sounds okay with you.” Or you may sum it all up and say (as long as it is true), “I expect another offer to come in soon, when is the latest I can get back to you? Can I reply by Friday, does that sound acceptable?”

• Sometimes you do have to say “no” to an offer if you feel they are just too low and it will affect your attitude and work ethic to accept. There is power in walking away if they refuse meet your needs and you feel you can get your needs met elsewhere.

• One technique to use is to say something like this, “after careful consideration, I must decline your job offer. Thank you for taking the time to talk with me and please do call if the budget changes.” That way you give them room to come up to your expectations if they are really pained to see you walk away.

If you are unhappy at work you have a few options.

• Quit right now with no notice, telling them to take the job and shove it as you walk out the door. Feel a few moments joy and freedom until you take yourself to your next money making opportunity (if you can find one) and, most likely, recreate the same unhappiness you had before.

• Stay with a bad attitude. Tell the story everyday of how you hate your job, the people you work with, and how you are underpaid, underappreciated, and have no options. The more you practice this outlook the easier it becomes.

• Stay and tell a different story. Talk about what you appreciate about your job or career. Practice looking at the bright side and you will see more bright side. Heck, your co-workers and boss might even start treating you differently.

• Stay and tell a different story while defining what you want in your next career move. Be on the lookout for the next opportunity all the while appreciating your current position and building more skill and contacts.

For most of us, our career is the source of funds for all our other experiences. Money made through work enables us to have and do things, of course. So why don’t most of us spend more money taking care of our careers per year than taking care of our pets or our tickets to special events?

It is important to think of career coaching and lifelong learning as investments rather than only expenditures. Better yet, make career development a line item in your annual budget so that money spent on it is not just emergency spending but thoughtful, pre-planned spending instead which has a much better chance of long-term, positive impact.

I recently heard about a study that was done where researchers asked people if they were lucky or not and then put them to a task.

Those that said they were lucky were much more likely to see the hint in the task that made the task simple and fast.

Those that said they were not lucky were more likely to painstakingly follow the directions of the task without seeing the shortcut.

This is an interesting story where Danny Kofke talks briefly about his strategies for thriving on a teacher’s salary. He mentions too that he feels like a rich man because he enjoys his work and gets to live in a way that supports his personal value system. That is career development gold, my friends!

It is very important to maintain positive emotions and happy feelings as much as possible. To do that you must become more aware of how you are feeling and have ammo handy to lift yourself up when you are down.

Create habits of thinking where you catch yourself feeling unhappy then say to yourself, “Things are as they are and feeling down doesn’t help me. I am so happy I can catch myself feeling down and remind myself to pump it up!” Then proceed to talk yourself up to a happier feeling or visualize yourself up to a happier feeling. Most importantly, allow yourself to feel better knowing that goodness is coming your way and you are ready for it.

A “happiness collection” is helpful too. Consider it your scrapbook of happy things which may be an actual book or which can be virtual…whatever works for you. Gather your favorite music, poems, song lyrics, pictures, and videos. Write out or speak reminders of your happiest memories and visualizations of good things to come. If you notice you are feeling down, go to your “happiness collection” and pump yourself up a notch or two.

Do your best to change your thinking so that you can feel good to great most of the time. Use your imagination to visualize things that make you feel better. Flip though your happiness collection for reminders to be positive. Generate positive feelings and raise your vibration.

Reputations are built after a stream of first impressions converge and people start communicating and comparing notes about their experiences then reveling in the common ground whether it be positive or negative. Its just human nature and an important survival skill.

It takes consistent change of behavior for an extended duration of time to change a bad reputation. It also takes willingness on the part of the one who made the judgment to let go of their ego and be open to changing their mind. No easy task to change a reputation to be sure.

Priority #1: Take on a marketing campaign emphasizing the change. Be earnest in admitting an understanding about why things needed to change and the resulting empowerment and enthusiasm since making the change.

Priority #2: Strive to make every future first impression positive to the extent possible. Release the anxiety when finding those who refuse to allow a reputation to change or who form a negative first impression due to reasons you can’t control.